Dear immiture boy

your past has not been easy and you do not parade it. I appreciate that. But when you approach situations refusing to believe others may not have had a hard past, is where i begin to have a problem. When you assume your life is worse than anothers in my life, is where i begin to get antsy. You replaced where your fathers footprints should have been in your brothers life, even though i know youre not the fondest of him. You step up a lot in his absense. Quite impressive amounts actually. You prove yourself as a strong beam to lean on. But there are weaknesses to your strong willed mind. Youre stubborn to the point of immiturity. When you get frustrated, you shut down. All communication from your end stops. This just digs the problem deeper. I dont want to lecture you in these moments because i know you will not listen to my pleas, but communication is the key to all things good. You have problems looking from others veiwpoints. Your stuck in your mind, unwilling to see the world through a lense not coated in your stubborn perspective which makes it hard for you to even want to listen when we are in a disagreement. I want to call you out for your hypocracy, but i fear it will only push you farther away. I dont want to tip toe around you afraid you will leave in anger, only to never return out of even more stubborness. “I always win” you told me once. Not in a joking manner. But i dont think you meant to say win. I think you meant to say “once i make a decision, i never turn from it, even if later i realize it was a mistake” because all youve ever known is to be this way. You think youre protecting yourself when honestly youre just dragging out the pain. And trust me i understand. I used to fight with my parents, retreating to my room night after night refusing to go downstairs and eat no matter how loud my stomach growled because of some dumb idea in my head that if i left my room, i would lose some game only i was playing. Until a series of misfortunate events opened my eyes to my small minded, no perspective ways and i stumbled across humility, and vulnerability. And how that is all i really need in life to accept myself and be happy. Im not saying i wish bad things upon you, i just wish in some way you could learn that a stubborn mind is not always a right one. So today i will drive to your house, even though you said you do not want to see or peak to me, because i can be bull headed too, the difference between you and me is i am fighting for a cause, while you are running away in fear of nothing other than the inaccurate view for your perspective that you are weak. And i do not know how to tackle these walls, so i will not try ro break them. Instead i will stand by them and listen to their rage and speak kind words that will test my patience because all i will want to do is scream. And one day, your corners will soften and i will gently move them apart and find my way inside.

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